I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You're so nebulous sometimes
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She even gives head with a lisp.
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Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
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He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here