another moral hangover. fuck.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
THAT is your concern right now?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.