saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
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He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
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THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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