Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
