Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We left the knife in your bed.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
