Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I AM VODKA MAN
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I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
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