when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
