thus making me awesome and them whores
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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