i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
