yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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