Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
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I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
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no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.