his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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