Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?

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(423): View more from Tennessee

We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.

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(209): View more from California

I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.

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(940): View more from Texas

Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago

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(907): View more from Alaska

Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.

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(602): View more from Arizona

He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change

(303): View more from Colorado

well did he get it

(602): View more from Arizona

....yes

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(865): View more from Tennessee

He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.

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