I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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