Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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