ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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