he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
