Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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