Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
