I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
