i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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