you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize