Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
