i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
