I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize