I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
