we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
