I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
