see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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