R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
