At least make sure they are 18
Why
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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