Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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