I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He? As in you personified your dick?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
