Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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