I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Randomize
