I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
