non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
