Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
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So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
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It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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