So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
