Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
