Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Also, beer. Big fan.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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