Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
