Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize