so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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