Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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