You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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