You really coming over, don't trick.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I love having hate sex.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
