I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
