singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
