We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
