Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
