Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
