She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
