operation harelip BJ is a go
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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