I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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