More tranny stories later!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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