I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What a dumb baby whore.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
