I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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