I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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