awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
