Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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