We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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