last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
