you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
